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Still waiting Lord

May 4, 2007

Last week at church they taught on the parable of the vinyard owner who paid all of his workers the same wage, the ones who worked all day and the ones who only worked an hour. I’ve thought about this all week because I am often envious (not really jealous) of others. It’s not that I think they shouldn’t have what they do, I just wonder why God does’t want me to have the same. I think we’ve all heard things like “God will surprise you when you least expect it” “He never tests you beyond what you can bear” “He will wait until you are broken and no longer want it and then you will be rewarded with it” “He will take away the hunger and teach you something new”. I agree with all of these statements and have seen a few of them work in my life but I’m still battleing with issues that have consumed me for years. I’ve prayed over them, kept myself busy so I don’t think about them, and I’ve tried to solve the problem myself, all to no avail. So what happens when you get to this point? I don’t know…I’m waiting I guess, because unless we go into debt, unless we move, unless things change, none of my petty (yes they are petty) desires will be filled. Does that make me a shallow, materialistic, petty person, or just unequivically human. I’m unsure, but it makes me feel really crappy.

4 Comments leave one →
  1. Suzanne permalink
    May 4, 2007 4:30 pm

    Believe me when I tell you, you’re human. Also, don’t forget, the people whose possessions you admire may just be admiring things about you that you don’t even realize you have (or take for granted).

    Can you tell I’ve been there (actually still there at 36 years old)?

    Tell your husband he should wash his hair in pudding so the little fellow will have something more interesting to taste, hehe.

  2. Micah permalink
    May 5, 2007 1:41 am

    Baby, let me tell you this..
    Satiety is a gift, complacency a blessing. I know you pray for these, but you’re left with that intrinsic need to make your home more. I know that’s a place where evil is attractive to you; we all have our dark places where we’re easily tempted. I’ll pray for you. Maybe it would do us good to open our eyes to what we have by helping those who don’t have?

  3. Fred permalink
    May 5, 2007 7:27 pm

    Keep your ears open for this weekend’s teaching on the parable of the mustard seed. There’s a section I think might speak to your questions here.

  4. jineane_82 permalink
    May 9, 2007 10:55 pm


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