This past week has been a flood of wonderful things. I reconnected with a friend that I haven’t talked to in 7yrs and found out she visits my town often. While at my husbands uncle’s house I met an interesting new friend of the family who restores art and has traveled the world. I went to a fun cookout of a blogger buddy where my ideas were encouraged. I also met a new friend at the cookout who’s an amazing photographer/entrepreneur/momma. I’ve always loved meeting new people, it’s like crack to me. I can be a little shy at first, and some people take that as snobbery, but after a few minutes my curiosity usually gets the better of me and I just can’t help but dive in. It seems like I’m meeting new creative people everyday that are making my life richer and more fun to live. Not only that but I’ve got some seriously cool things in the works that I can’t wait to share……once I get all my ducks in a row So for the rest of the week I’m going to continue to dive into the deep end of my life until I’m drenched and refreshed (I think you should too)!
Do you miss the days of actually holding photos in your hands instead of scrolling through them on a 1.5″x1″ screen? I do. In highschool my senior year I ended up being the graphic design editor for the yearbook. But I stumbled into loving photography my sophomore year when I was taken into the dark room and shown how to develope film and print photos. There’s a great mystery to being in the pitch black and feeling for bottles of liquid, canisters, paper, counting the seconds, dipping sheets into pans of magic water…..and viola, you have a photo to hang dry. I remember dropping my backpack and shutting myself in the darkroom for an hour of silence, just going through rows of negatives….looking for moments.
So to the point, I’ve bought myself a new toy. A Diana F+, these little plastic beauties started as toys produced in Hong Kong in the 60’s. They didn’t really become popular until they showed up in thrift stores and grew somewhat of a cult following. They use 120mm film, which is hard to find but produces these amazing gritty photos. The kind you think of when you imagine coffee houses or Paris streets. The cameras are notorious for their light leeks and unpredictability but that’s what makes it fun. So if you see me staring off into space, wandering around….this is what I’m doing.
A great photograph is a full expression of what one feels about what is being photographed in the deepest sense, and is, thereby, a true expression of what one feels about life in its entirety. ~Ansel Adams
Most people who know me know that I do yoga, and I’ve got to say that it’s addicting. It’s the precious moments in your head as you hear your breath funnel in and out that you gets snippets of clarity. A lot of times I have thoughts instantly followed by the consequences, conditions, and judgements, but somehow when we are still, all we hear is the echo of truth from our own space in this world. It’s not supposed to be complicated to walk through the world but we make it so by telling ourselves that what we have/want/give is not of enough value.
Life is easier than you’d think; all that is necessary is to accept the impossible, do without the indispensable, and bear the intolerable.
Learn the wisdom of compromise, for it is better to bend a little than to break.
So we face each day fully aware of who we are (or at least want to be) and try to hold on to it until the night…but sometimes that is easier said than done. So I’ll just keep trying
I’ve often wondered why were are so drawn to certain people, some people call it chemistry, magnetism, commonality. I’ve never thought any of that. I think what makes the best sense is that at one time we really did all know one another, used to be tangled in the same story. These days it’s really easy to seek what you know and ignore what’s difficult. But what is it you’re giving up in trade for that comfort. For example, there is a homeless man in our town that always catches my attention. If I’m in a restaurant he seems to be walking across the parking lot, if I’m at the grocery he’s on the curb…you get the idea. Now he’s a BIG man and for the most part considering my past he should scare me, but he doesn’t. So on the day I drove by and saw him sitting in his favorite patch of grass behind the Goodwill and I felt overwhelmed to buy him food…I did. I shoved what little cash I had into the bag rolled down my window and said what popped into my head “sir, I bought this for you”. The tips of his fingers were black from smoke, nails too long and dirty, but his smile was perfect. He was a nice man, and I knew I’d done for him what God had wanted at that moment. So no we aren’t drawn to everyone, even though we may have compassion or interest in someone it’s not the same as hearing very clearly that this is where you should be. As with most things, I love the way Emerson explains it, but’s it’s long and drawn out. So here’s some snippets.
Really, all things and persons are related to us, but according to our nature, they act on us not at once, but in succession, and we are made aware of their presence one at a time. When he has exhausted for the time the nourishment to be drawn from any one person or thing, that object is withdrawn from his observation, and though still in his immediate neighborhood, he does not suspect it presence.
Now it’s probably far more complex than that alludes to, but what if we did simplify and simply filled the space around us with what we feel meant to obtain. Is that selfish or self-aware? I made a decision in January (not a resolution, just a conscious effort) to do more of what I feel compelled to do, even if it’s far from comfortable or easy. I’ve got to say that this philosophy is slowly becoming transformational.
So for the next 90 days I’m doing things a little different. I’ve decided to blog elsewhere, with a more direct purpose and see if that doesn’t help fire me back up. So you can find me over HERE.
I’m still in an odd place where this blog is concerned not knowing if I really feel like keeping up with it this summer. But…
I got some news yesterday that’s tugged on my heart relentlessly. I found out that an old friend from HS has been diagnosed with a brain tumor. To be more specific it’s an oligoastrocytoma. The funny thing is that about a week ago I was watching the boys play outside when he stumbled into my thoughts and I couldn’t get him out, so I went onto Facebook and looked him up. So yesterday I get and update saying he has started an info page for friends and family about his progress as he nears surgery. I think the way God works is simply amazing, why would I think of someone that I hadn’t talked to in almost a decade?, why couldn’t I get his name out of my mind?, why did my heart break a little when I found out about his tumor?. Maybe because as christians we really are one big army here on Earth to support one another. Maybe I couldn’t get his name out of my head because an angel was was yelling his name, calling to troops to battle. Just recently at our church we were able to witness a real miracle, by watching our whole congregation pray for healing for a small child and three days later hearing that the doctors could find nothing wrong with him (the test must have been wrong). I believe we can pray healing into the lives of our family & friends. When my grandad had a lung tumor the deacons of the church prayed over him the night before surgery and when the x-rays the morning before sugery showed no tumor the doctors were amazed.
I think we all have heard of a story similar to this. So let this be my shout to call the troops to battle… “PRAY!!!!” Pray for healing, pray for peace, pray for wisdom for his doctors, pray for his famliy’s strength, pray for absolute recovery. Bryce really is one of those people whose personality and energy has a gravitational pull of it’s own, he has a light that really could change the world. I believe he will get the chance.
I will keep everyone up to date on his progress and I absolutely expect many of you to pray. What I know so far is that on June first they start brain mapping to make sure they don’t injure any parts of his brain that control his speech or memory during surgery and then on June 4 they plan to operate. I set a reminder in my phone for the morning of surgery to pray, imagine if everyone did that, maybe we could fill the room with a thousand angels!
I’m sure just like everyone else I’m in full Easter scramble, but since we are throwing our Passover Party tomorrow, and Grey’s Easter Party at school is this afternoon I’m way behind and typing this when I should be showering. And so my list of things to do for the next 24 hrs looks something like this:
- Pick up candy filled eggs for Easter egg hunt (at school)
- Make fun snack for school party
- Take Gentry to library story time
- Go pick up surprise gift for special party guest
- Pick up 16lbs of lamb from butcher and prep it for tomorrows cooking
- Make flourless chocolate cake
- Go to little league meeting
- Go to yoga
- Make 20 programs (Haggadahs) for the party
- Make placecards
- Buy ribbons, flowers, wine, and shoelaces (for Grey’s dress shoes)
- Get goody bags ready for the kids
- Prepare Seder plate
So there you have it, I’m tired just thinking about it. All I really want to do is go get my nails done and tan and see if I still fit in the dress I planned to wear.